If you follow football at my kid’s high school, you probably know who I am. I’m a constant, vocal and physical presence at the games. I take pictures at all the games, publish a weekly newsletter and send out weekly email informational updates to the parents. I figured out a long time ago that if I hold a camera and take a few pictures, I get to hang out with the team on the sidelines, and that’s a much better place to experience the game. My kid has played for 10 years and my husband has coached for 9 years. From August to December (and actually longer than that) we eat, live and breathe football. There have been many weekends that I’ve watched 5 live games. Two high school games on Friday night and 3 games from our youth league on Saturday afternoons. I am a fan.
Most people assume that since I’m so involved in quite possibly the most successful youth and high school teams in our area, I would know a lot about football. I’m here to tell you, that I don’t know much. I can tell you the difference between offense and defense. I can tell the difference between a run and a pass. I can tell you what position my kid plays and I can name most of the kids on the team and tell you their jersey numbers… but that is where my expertise ends. I don’t know the names of the plays. I don’t understand what “holding” is and I have no idea what formation the players are in. I don’t know what our current standing is or updated stats. People ask me all the time about our plays, strategies and positions and my answer is the same… “I don’t know.” Most of the time they think I’m just holding out, but the truth is that none of that stuff really matters to me.
What I do know is much more important. There is a brief moment just before the snap of the ball when anything is possible. The moment when the score, the game and even the final outcome are not the priority. The only thing that matters in that moment is the play before them. The offense has a plan of execution that will require the full commitment and effort of each of the 11 players on the field… a precise choreography. The moment when the defense, anticipating what will happen and relying on the hours and hours of practice and the shared focus of their teammates to defend their goal. The moment when everyone gets a second chance… regardless of the score or field position. I know that downs represent opportunities. You get at least 4 of them at a time… and if you’re successful… with small steps, you’ll keep moving forward towards your goal. If something doesn’t work the first time, you change the play and try something different.
I know that football is a game that turns boys into men. I know that football brings together strangers and transform them into brothers. I know that physical talent is not what makes a team successful. Discipline and the “WE” philosophy is the secret. Heart and strength of character will make you more of an asset to the team than your size or how much you can bench press. I know that the respect a player holds for not only his coach but his teammates and his opponents will serve him well as he enters the real world after high school and college. I’ve witnessed boys do the right thing by their team despite the fact that their parents had a “me” attitude and wanted what was best for their boy regardless of the implications for the team. I know that the boys that put their heart and soul into the game, the players who leave everything on the field, never regret the decision.
I know that families that invest their time, money and energy in the team they support, forge unbreakable bonds with their football family of choice. I know that the friends that we’ve made through the teams we’ve supported will be life long members of our extended family. I know that parents that let the coaches coach and let their kid play enjoy the whole experience much more than those who think they know better. I know that when you work for the good of the team, it doesn’t feel like work at all. It’s a pleasure and the benefits always out number the cost.
For 10 years I’ve had a kid on the team… and I have cherished every moment, every down, every quarter, every win and every loss. I have enjoyed the privilege of being a part of the team even if I never put on pads and a uniform. I have been blessed with experiences and relationships that have made me a better mom, wife, friend and human being. I have learned much more than I taught, received much more than I gave and celebrated more than I complained.
My kid has played his last down of high school football. That part of my life is over, but my participation in the sport I love is not lost, it’s just different. I’m sure it won’t be the same experience, but you’ll still find me on the sidelines from time to time. After all, it’s not about the final score, it’s about living in the moment and the new opportunity with each snap of the ball. That’s life. That’s what football gives each of us… the lesson of learning to live in the moment, to pick yourself up off the ground, huddle up with your team and try again.
Who knows… maybe with some more time on the field, I will finally learn how to execute a “Z” Kick.
Wow, Kelly! That is so insightful and expressive. Thanks for sharing so much with us all. Every week I felt better knowing you were down there taking photos. It was like a ritual and it meant everything was in order on the universe. On sat or sun afternoon Tyler and I would go through the pictures together. It was a joy to hear him describe the game as only the players on the field can know, all prompted by the snap of your camera. Your photography was a way for me to share the game with my son. I cherish those moments. And I did learn what holding was! Also, because you unshelfishly posted the pictures for free, I was able to download many amazing photos for Tyler so that these memories can stay alive for us. All I can say is thank you for all your passion for the game, for your generous spirit, and for showing us all what a great family is all about. Forever grateful, love those Rocha’s, From the Lee’s. Go CC Raiders!!!!!
I just completed your poll last night. I have to tell you I was moved to tears by your two latest postings….”I don’t know much about football” and the other blog you wrote about Steel’s last game. They were both so moving. I have known since my RCIA days that you truly have a gift with writing and words and I would hate to see you give that up…at least for my enjoyment
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I saw you and Steel at the edge of the field last Friday and it was one of the most touching moments I have ever witnessed. The love between you was palpable. I wanted to capture it for you with a photo but did not want to interrupt your special time.
I know this year has been a difficult one for you and I want to thank you for being so open about sharing much of it with people like me. I am so blessed to know you and your family. You inspire me. I want to thank you, also, for all of the time you have spent with our kids on the sidelines taking photos and including the cheerleaders in that. These photographs are priceless.
I am sure as Steel moves on to college next year we may not see you as much at the games and such and I will miss that. Please call, email, text me anytime. I would love to have coffee or lunch, dinner, etc any time you are free.
Take care and keep writing and taking pictures. You are so great at both!
Kathy
I just got done reading your post’s about football and I have tears in my eyes. I know exactly what you mean. When Clint was done with football after 12 years I think I took it harder than he did. I love football I grew up watching it with my Dad and Mom who was a big fan too. We went to Stanford games and stayed home to cheer on the 49′ers and the Bronco’s too because John Elway from Stanford went to Denver. Clint could not wait to play pop warner football. He only played soccer until he was old enough for football and then never looked back. I took him to every practice and stayed the whole time. Partly because we lived so far away and partly because I loved watching him. In about the 5th grade my Dad introduced him to Mike Glines, he had heard all the stories about him from Kirk and Dad and wanted to play for him very badly. We started going to Mikes first sunday clinics at some gym in modesto. When he started at Central he was in heaven and we began a 7 year journey that would be some of the best times of our lives. I won’t lie it was great being a parent of one of the star players. He rarely was off the field and made us very proud. To this day people I don’t even know when they find out I am Clint’s mom tell me stories about how much they loved to watch him play. He wanted to go to a good football college very badly. But as you know with his size he didn’t get many looks and settled for a junior college. He had two more great seasons but it was never the same as at Central. He told me soon after he started “It’s sure not a WE thing here”. Easton was never as passionate about football as Clint but loved playing at Central too. I’ll never forget when we went back to the first game the year after Easton graduated. It was very strange you feel like you don’t belong. There was someone else sitting in the seats I had been in for 7 years. I hate to tell you this but once your son graduates it’s pretty much over, it is never the same.
It sounds like Steel took the MC loss pretty hard. Nobody wants to lose their last game, but really only one team in every league wins their last game. It’s nice Steel let you share his grief with you. I remember Steve’s Dad died in the middle of the night on a friday night in Sept. When the boys woke up on Sat am we had to tell them. They had no idea he was even sick and Easton had seen him the day before. Of course Saturday was Falcon Football day and Clint still wanted to play. During the pledge they acknowledged that Don had died and dedicated the game to him. I don’t remember if we won or lost but after the game in the team huddle with the parents gathered around the Coach said some really nice things about Don and gave Clint the game ball. My very strong and proud boy turned to me and cried in my arms for about five minutes. It was a feeling I will never forget and I don’t think I have seen him cry since.
Thanks again for your posts I try to keep up with them and thanks for letting me ramble on. And remember life does go on without football (at least untill we have grandkids hopefully).
jennifer i totally agree with you, Brian was just like Clint football was his life. I was so upsett when I went to Craig’s first game and I saw another kid with #60 jersey on, I just wanted to go up to him and tell him to “play with your heart and soul” just like my son did.
It is such a strange feeling to go back to CCHS Football, Gridiron or any other things at CCHS, it’s just a different group of people. I kept looking for the Haglunds, Trinklers, Hogans, John & Dana., Marty Stokman, Faria’s on and on…
Change is good…