Author Archives: Kelli Rocha

City By The Bay

One of the most frequent questions I get about this blog is “How do you come up with things to write about?”  There is a simple answer.  Sometimes, I have to think really hard about my day to recognize the grace.  But most of the time… the topics are divinely inspired and fall right into my lap.  Those are the moments when I realize this my lesson for today.  This is my focus.

Today, the inspiration came from KCBS – The radio station in San Francisco.  That’s usually the channel I listen to on my way home from work.  I’m not a big TV watcher, so this is my most frequent source for news.  Today… I was pleasantly surprised to hear that I had an emotional connection to today’s top story.

Today is the 50th Anniversary of Tony Bennett’s song “I Left My Heart in San Francisco.” There was a city-wide celebration including a declaration of February 14th as “Tony Bennett Day.” To read Rolling Stone’s article, click here.

This was my mother’s very favorite song.  Every time I hear the introductory notes, I get goosebumps.  It’s a beautiful song, but when I attach the sentimental meaning of my mother to it, the words and melody bring tears to my eyes.

If you’ve never been to the city, it’s difficult to understand the romance it stirs in people.  It’s beautiful… and grand, and has a unique personality.  The moment you first arrive, it’s easy to see what all the fuss is about.  This city truly is alive with history, elegance and the most spectacular (and unique) landscape and architecture.  For my mother, it also had another significance.  She truly did have a love that lived in San Francisco.  It wasn’t until I was much older that I began to realize that the song told her story.

So for your listening pleasure… I’ve included a link to the song.  Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone who has ever loved anyone… or any place, like San Francisco.

This one’s for you Mom.

Family Stalker

I love stories… I love to write them and I love to read them.  There are so many wonderful true, real life stories out there that inspire and uplift.  These are my favorite.  I like things that make me smile.

One of the best parts of Facebook for me has been reconnecting with family that lives far from us.  This has meant getting a glimpse into the lives of some of my 2nd and 3rd cousins.  Most of these kids are much younger than me… with growing families.  They wouldn’t remember me, but I am getting re-acquainted  through the sharing of photographs and memories.  It’s difficult to explain and maybe even sounds a little “stalker-ish” or “creeper-ish” but when they share, I get to be a part of the story.  When I read the posts on Facebook or blogs, I get to be a part of the experience… even if it is just through empathy.  If it’s trials, I can pray.  If it’s celebration I can offer congratulations and thanksgiving.  It’s all good stuff… for them and for me.

One family in Washington state has been very open about their struggles and successes in the adoption process.  The dad is my 2nd cousin and it has probably been 20+ years since I’ve seen him.  He is much younger than me.  He was just a child at our last family reunion.  Now he is married to a wonderful woman who maintains a blog.  From her writings, not only have I learned about her, I’ve learned about my cousin and their growing family.

I was there (on the Internet) when they adopted their first daughter.  I was there (again in cyber-space) when they started looking for another child to add to their family.  I was there (you guessed it) when they went through the heart-break of a birth mother choosing to keep her baby.  And… finally this week, I was there (online) when they announced the arrival of another beautiful daughter.  What a wonderful journey to witness.  Quietly, and prayerfully, we have celebrated and mourned the ups and downs that they have shared with us.  And we have been the ones to be blessed by the effort.

I can’t wait to make the trip to see this little family and to embrace the members I have yet to meet.  In the meantime, I am so grateful for Mom’s efforts to share the stories of her growing family with her extended family.  The connection has truly been a point of grace for me and for all with whom I share the story.

I don’t want to freak her out… but I’m a big fan.

A Fan of Feedback

So I’m not a big awards show watcher… but when they announced that both The Beach Boys and Paul McCartney would be performing, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Many people (who know me well) have messaged me assuming that Paul McCartney would be the topic of tonight’s post. While he (and the Beach Boys) are the primary reason it’s coming so late, the post about my experience comes from you.

I am so moved by the reaction to my blog this year. It’s only day 42 and the visits to my blog are way up over last year. By the 9th day of February, more visits had been recorded than the entire month of November 2011.

When I started daily blogging in 2009, I considered keeping it private. I wasn’t sure I was willing to share so much of my life with the world. Even now, sometimes when I write, I tend to want to censor and filter my thoughts before writing them down, but I try to fight against it. I try very hard to be authentic. It’s difficult, but it is my primary rule. This week’s post about peri-menopause is a good example of a huge risk for me.

So tonight… I just thank you. I’m full of gratitude and respect for your kindness and support. You are certainly an undeserved gift from God… the simplest definition of Grace. For everyone who has commented and liked a post I say thank you. And for those of you who have shared the posts on your Facebook wall I am so honored that you thought enough of my words to offer them with your friends and extended family. Thank you so much for your going on this journey with me. We have 323 days to go and so much more to learn.

So that’s it for tonight. Forgive this late post. I’m going back to the Grammy’s. Sir Paul is expected to take the stage (again) and sing a few classic songs from the Beatles.

Love Haters

I’m a little troubled to read all of the posts on Facebook and Twitter lately from those lamenting the fact that they are really not looking forward to Valentine’s Day. I know this is a difficult time for those who feel alone, but it seems to me the dread is at an all time high this year. People have written everything from hating the marketing surrounding the holiday to threats of not leaving the house on the 14th. I cannot understand why people allow a secular celebration of love to define their status. Even if you are alone, someone loves you. And I’m going to take a wild guess and say that you love somebody too.

The problem lies in the fact that we’ve allowed February 14th to represent only romantic love. Romance is not real love. It’s pretense… a facade… a mating dance similar to a peacock fanning his feathers. It’s pretty to look at, but when push comes to shove it won’t protect you and the feelings fade quickly.

Pope Benedict XVI’s first encyclical letter was entitled, God is Love. In it, he describes three different kinds of love as defined in Greek as: eros, philia and agape. I strongly encourage everyone to read the entire letter. (Click on the title above.) It is well worth your time and effort. The simplest way to explain is Eros = erotic or physical love as between husband and wife. Philia = brotherly love as between friends and neighbors. And Agape = sacrificial love as in the love of a parent to a child.

Is it possible to have all three kinds of love? Yes, of course. A good marriage is the perfect mixture of all three. But it’s important to realize that all of these are LOVE and should be celebrated every day, not just February 14th. There is so much more to love than just what the media portrays. If we open ourselves up to the experience, we can find love all around us. Sometimes we’re the the ones being loved, and sometimes we’re the one reaching out to others in love. This is what we should recognize, and this is what we should celebrate.

McCartney Lullaby

Paul. McCartney.  Just typing the words makes me swoon.  My affection for Beatles music forces me to say his name with reverence.  It’s not a crush like some people (Leroy) think.  It’s so much more.   It’s much closer to adoration.

I’ve always been a fan, but attending the Paul McCartney concert at AT&T Park (San Francisco) in June of 2010 was life changing.  The words of the Kenny Chesney song “Reality” sum it up best.

“Yeah, some days it’s a bitch, it’s a bummer

We need a rock and roll show in the summer

To let the music take us away

Take our minds to a better place”

Even though there were some great things that happened in 2010 some days really were a bitch and a bummer.  That concert (a long time bucket list item) really was an escape from the reality.  (To read more about the concert, and see my pictures, click here to read the blog post.)  Since that day, whenever I listen to his music, I have the added benefit of remembering the concert, the beautiful day and the experience we shared.

Last night, iTunes hosted a free, live, online concert of Paul singing songs from his new album “Kisses on the Bottom.”  It was streamed live in HD and the visual (black and white) and audio was outstanding.  It was really fabulous.  I sat on the couch, curled up in Leroy’s arms, listening and watching.  It was an hour of absolute bliss.

The music and the experience was a sweet lullaby.  I had wonderful dreams all night long, and woke up this morning with the refrains still in my head.  All day long, I’ve been flashing back to the video and the songs.  That’s what good music does for you.  It’s therapeutic and changes us on an emotional level.

Seeing Clearly

I have been going to the same eye doctor since I was about 12 years old.  For those of you doing the math, yes… that is 30+ years.  Every year, same guy, same exam, same results.  ”Kelli, your vision has changed since your last exam.”

For many years, my vision would yo-yo.  Sometimes better, sometimes worse.  The last several years however… it’s been worse each time.  But not unexpected.  Dr. Andre pretty  much tells me what’s going to happen next… and as predictions go he is very accurate.

He also knows me well enough to tell me that most of my issues with my vision is due to my lack of patience and tolerance.  He (gently) reminds me that I get less and less tolerant of poor vision the older I get.  It’s not my vision that is changing per se as much as my attitude about my vision that changes.  (Sometimes I wonder if he isn’t a guidance counselor for aging.)

Regardless of my vision issues, I have been graced with healthy eyes… and for that I am thankful.  He always shows me the medical photographs that they take of my eye each year and tries to explain what I’m viewing.  Most of this goes over my head.  But today, he showed me the photo of my eye, and the photo of someone else’s eye that had a retinal detachment.  We were the same age and sex.  The difference was obvious and I was immediately thankful for my simple, fuzzy vision issues.

Drop Ins

One of the best parts of living in town (in Hilmar) is the fact that our family drops by on occasion for quick visits. This hardly ever happened when we lived on the dairy. Now we are within walking distance from the school… and it’s convenient to just swing by and say hello. I love this party of city life.

Today we had Brandon come over after school and the rest of the Almeidas drop in for dinner. We also had a visit from Lynette and Lauren while they waited for Landon at a birthday party. With Sierra home too, we had quite a house full for a few minutes.

Since the others live a little ways away from town, we’re a convenient place to hang out while the kids are doing other things. I.e. Catechism, birthday parties, 4-H meetings, practice, meetings… etc. It’s perfect. We get to visit with the family, and they get to hang out and kill some time in between errands.

Period. End of Sentence.

WARNING: The following post contains lengthy, frank discussion of female biological processes. Just skip this post if you’re not interested or prone to the feeling of TMI. No hard feelings.

I’m 5 days late with my period. This is very unusual for me.

I’ve had a good time teasing Leroy about all of this. You see, it’s only funny because he underwent a vasectomy years ago. That doesn’t stop me from quoting the statistic that “spontaneous re-canalization has been reported in less than 1% of patients.” Unlikely, but not impossible. I’ve also thrown in digs about cravings, late night feedings and looking for a house with a nursery close to the master bedroom.

He doesn’t think I’m funny.

I thought it was hysterical until this morning when I realized that my amenorrhea could have another cause.

Menopause.

Yeah… that diagnosis is much more likely. I feel so stupid. Suddenly, my “condition” is not so funny anymore. At least not to me. Previously (within the last year) I had taken offense to the suggestions that I am at the age for perimenopause. I was once in a discussion with a male friend whose daughter was undergoing some difficulties with menstration and I said that I was fortunate to have never had any of those issues. He asked me, with all sincerity, “You still have periods?”

I almost kicked him in the teeth.

There was another incident involving a waitress and a wisecracking comment regarding her perception of our common age. (She was at least 20 years older than me.) She referenced a menopausal symptom and I recoiled at the suggestion.

She didn’t get much of a tip.

The real problem is that I’ve always somewhat considered my periods as blessings… and a grace. When I as very young, I read an article about a nun who was being interviewed about her vocation and the sacrifices that she made. When the writer asked about her feelings regarding sexuality and child bearing she explained. She said that every 28 days, God gave her a gift. It was the gentle reminder that her body was created to bear life. Each month, her body prepared, waited, cleansed itself and started the process all over again. So much of our life is cyclical. She viewed this process as an extension of the larger understanding of life, death and resurrection. A personal reminder of her signficance in a bigger concept. She also recognized the gift of free will. Although she had made a committment to celebacy, God did not take away her choice. God did not take away her privledge of being a woman.

Her words completely changed my perspective of “the curse.”

Now I am gently being pushed to recognizing the purpose and gift in this new phase in my life. I’m not going to lie to you and say that I’m throughly prepared to take on the challenge. I am not. I’m still in shock in the realization of my entrance into the unknown. I’m going to research and see if my little nun has since written about the issue… to see if I can gain the insight, understanding and acceptance that came so easily before. This is my prayer.

In the meantime, for someone who is constantly cold, hot-flashes don’t sound like such a bad thing…

Customer Satisfaction

Customer service in a retail industry can be a difficult job. Sometimes the concerns are simple and easy to fix. I have to say that most of the customers are reasonable and respectful when they contact me. Most people are not out to get something for nothing. They only want what they think is fair. It’s my job to solve problems.

Today, when I arrived at work… there was a voicemail waiting for me. A customer who had an issue last week said that he was on his way into the store and wanted to see me. Of course my defenses instantly went into place. He was upset last week, but I thought we had reached an agreement to his issue. Not long after I listened to the voicemail, the customer arrived. I was pleasantly surprised that he wanted to thank me for the assistance and even presented me with a thank you card and a Starbuck’s gift card. I was shocked. This does not happen every day. What a great way to start my work week!

We always seem to find the time to complain, but rarely do we go out of our way to compliment when we’ve received good service. Reputation sites are full of bad reviews, but rarely does anyone take the time to write nice things or post a note about their satisfaction. I’m going to change that for myself. If I complain, I have to compliment too. I’ve learned how important it is to recognize the good around me and that includes business.

Super Sport

It’s no secret how important football is to me. All levels, all teams… it doesn’t matter. I just love the game.

I’m always a little sad on Superbowl Sunday. It’s the last official “football” event of the season. The high school season starts slowly in June. From then on, the activity grows and so does the anticipation. The college and high school games begin in late August… and that’s when the fun really begins.

But between most of February through May… we are football-less. Sometimes it feels like Lent.

A few days ago I read an article where the author (writing about football) stated that “sport is one of God’s tender mercies.”* Of course that caught my attention so I had to read it. Certainly, God’s tender mercies are filled with amazing grace.

Most people who love football have never played a down themselves. Most of us will never know the feeling of playing the game, but we imagine how it must feel to play and that just might be better than the real thing.

The true gift of football is the escape from reality. Those who were talented enough to play (at any level) get to reminisce about their glory days… and for the rest of us our imaginations take us away to the concepts of teamwork, strategy, execution and success. Four quarters of purpose and four downs of opportunity. What’s not to love?

*To read the Our Sunday Visitor article, click on the link below.

http://www.osv.com/tabid/7621/itemid/9015/Lockwood-Ode-to-football.aspx