Somewhere, I’ve read “Our cousins are our first friends.” When you stop and think about it… the statement is very true. It’s in these somewhat forced and permanent acquaintances that we learn to interact and form relationships. It is the safe place to learn how to be a friend. They really are built in buddies.

Unfortunately, time will change these bonds. People grow up and grow apart and you don’t see your cousins as much as you used to. But it doesn’t take long to reconnect and get right back into relationship. The connection of shared experiences brings everyone together and the distance from time fades away.

I was blessed with wonderful cousins both far and near… and lots of them. Over the last few years we’ve been able to reconnect through visits and Facebook and it has truly been a blessing. Leroy grew up with all of his first cousins living nearby with regular family gatherings to keep them together. Even now (tonight) we get many opportunities to spend time with his cousins. Each time there is lots of laughter and reminiscing… and of course lots of teasing.

One of the best things about watching our own children grow up has been the transformation of their relationships with their own cousins. Some of them fought like cats and dogs, and now they are close friends. We know from experience the worth and importance of those moments spent together. I look forward to the days when they will all sit around as friends and reminisce about growing up together. I can’t wait to hear their versions of our stories.

You don’t have to be around my brother-in-law John Almeida for very long before you realize that he says exactly what’s on his mind. He is as honest as the day is long. Brutally honest. There is no pretense, no beating around the bush, and certainly no filter. I’d be lying to you if I said that he’s never embarrassed me… but 99% of the time I’m laughing too hard to even care.

A guy once wrote a book about statements that his 76 year old dad said. (Shit My Dad Says) He’s one of my favorites to follow on Twitter. I realized today that if I kept track of the things that come out of John’s mouth, I’d probably have a best seller myself.

The truth is, no matter the situation, I always feel better when he’s around. He can find humor in any thing and break tension with just an expression on his face. He’s very grounded and most of the time a big dose of reality when we need it most.

On Monday night we talked a lot about the Beatitudes.  (See Matt 5:3-12)  One of the things we discussed was the idea of interdependence.  I need you, but I also need to be strong enough for when you need me.  Reliance on those around us.  This is a complicated concept for us to understand and accept, especially for us Americans.

For most of us, it’s much easier to serve than to be served.  Graciously accepting someone’s generosity requires humility and gratitude… and that’s an awkward place for most of us.  It’s much easier to be the one handing out the good things or good deeds, much more difficult to accept them.  It’s even more difficult to admit to what we want or even worse, what we need when it is not in our ability to acquire it.   No one want’s to be referred to as a charity case or a freeloader.  We want to think we’ve earned everything we receive.  This concept is against the very simple definition of grace.  We cannot earn it.  It is freely given.

The most important thing to remember is that we must allow people to serve us so they can receive the blessings of the service.  When we deny a gift, we deny the giver the grace of the action.  As difficult as it sounds, we must allow people the opportunity to serve.

We’ve received some very gracious invitations lately.  And when I say gracious, I sincerely mean it.  These opportunities were certainly not earned, and not available without the help of others.  I humbly say “YES” with much enthusiasm because I know someday, I’d like the opportunity to do for someone else.  My time will come.  For now, I’m filled with gratitude and going to enjoy my experiences.

If you’ve followed along with my blog you know all about Charlie. What you may not be aware of is that he is a licensed Therapy Dog. We work with patients under Hospice care, children’s grief support groups as well as twice monthly visits to the residents of Casa de Modesto.

We missed our visits to Casa de Modesto in January. For the first one, I was ill and the second one fell during my week of scheduled jury duty. We were back on schedule today and I was pleasantly surprised to see how much I had missed the visits. I’m beginning to realize that I may be Charlie’s most important client.

We only spend an hour every time we go to the care facility, but in that hour, Charlie personally interacts with approximately 25 residents. His job is easy… be adorable and to stand within reach of the residents. It is such a delight to see their faces light up when he walks into the room.

For most of the residents, I have to reintroduce Charlie. They remember the dogs coming, but not the particular names. There are a few that plan for us. One lady keeps a baggie of treats with her on the days we are scheduled to visit. No matter where she is when we arrive… she’s prepared to give Charlie his treat.

Some of the other residents saw Charlie’s enthusiasm for the treats, so they started planning themselves. One of Charlie’s particularly favorite friends, Helen “accidentally” spilled her Fiddle Faddle just before our arrival. There was a nurse trying to clean it up but Helen whispered to me that it was done purposefully to share with the dog.

Charlie has another friend, Margaret who waits in the hall way on the days we are scheduled to visit. She is so worried about missing him that she refuses to go to any other activities until she has seen him. Her room is at the end of the hall. She always sits and waits patiently for us as we zig-zag our way toward her.

I knew this work would be rewarding, but I never imagined how much it would mean to me personally. As much as I’d like to think we are doing good for others, I’m totally convinced that we are the ones who are blessed by the effort. Dogs are a gift of grace themselves, but having the opportunity to share them is truly one of the greatest blessings I have ever received.

I wouldn’t call myself a huge Michael Jackson fan… or a Gleek.   I do, however, have a true appreciation for music and I think the show Glee does a great job of bringing a different form of music to the masses.  I don’t catch every episode, but I’m surprising impressed whenever I do get to see the show.  Tonight was a special episode featuring the music of Michael Jackson.

Regardless of what people think of Michael Jackson as a person, there is no denying the man was a genius when it came to music.  The height of his popularity was during my high school years, so I grew up with his songs and  I know almost all of them.  For me it is sad to think of what his life became and the nature of his death.  Truly, struck down by a smooth criminal.

What we are left with becomes even more valuable  For those who loved his music, Michael Jackson will live forever through the gift he shared.  I probably don’t know all of the correct lyrics, but I can sing along (sort of) with my favorites.

It sounds so simple, but I am struck tonight of the gift of recorded music.  We are forever blessed with the songs long after the artist has passed away.  Much like listening to the sound of a loved ones voice on a video recording,  music can transport you back to a different time and flood your memory.

This afternoon, I received a text message that truly made my day.  (Actually, made my week.)  I received an invitation to join some family members on a trip.  Now, I know that might not sound like a big deal, but it’s a really great trip.  I don’t know if I can go yet.  Leroy and I have to talk it over, see if we can get the time off, see if we can afford it.  You know… all of that fun (details) stuff.  While I ‘d love to go, just being invited was a thrill.

I never really understood the movie stars on the red carpet when asked how they felt about losing the award for which they were nominated.  They usual answer of, “I was just honored to be nominted with so many other fabulous actors” always sounded like a load of crap to me.  But now, I can kind of understand.  While I’d love to go on this trip, just knowing that I was thought of and invited is my moment of grace for today.  Of course I’d love to go (win) but just being nominated is a source of joy as well.

Several years ago, my friend Joan told me about a Catholic priest who wrote a lot about grace. This particular author was one of her favorites, and he quickly became one of mine as well. His name is Fr. Richard Rohr.

Now I will admit that some of his writings go a little over my head. His thinking is on a higher spiritual level than I have achieved. However, I am always moved by his words and take something away every time I read anything from him.

I was completely overjoyed to find that Richard Rohr has an active presence on Twitter. (I’m sure Twitter will be it’s own grace post some time this year… more to come.) Anyway, I came across this ‘tweet’ from a couple days ago…

“We are not the pure wine, but merely a wineglass. We never ‘master’ love but we are the lovely vessels through which love pours and spills.”

If you’re like me… you’ll have to read that over and over again before it really sinks in. What a beautiful image and concept. And what a wonderful image of grace.

I have to admit, I’ve been a little nervous (especially after the trying week I’ve had) about finding content for this blog. But after reading this I was not only I touched by the words, I was wonderfully relieved when I realized that I can tap into the wisdom of Richard Rohr on my journey to understand and appreciate grace this year.

Win-Win

For those of you interested in Fr. Rohr you can follow him on Twitter at: @RichardRohrOFM

I helped Sierra deliver some of her delicious cupcakes to an event in Modesto today.  There were 150 pretty, pink sweet treats that will be enjoyed at a benefit dinner.  These particular cupcakes are my new favorite.  Even the aroma from these was intoxicating.  I’ve eaten several of the “ugly” ones and have a few extras left for tomorrow.

I keep telling Sierra that this little side business is not her real job.  Sometimes I feel like she spends much too much time and energy in making these cupcakes.  I’m constantly asking her if she’s charging enough to even cover her expenses.  She always assures me that she does.

She said to me that she enjoys doing this so much, she’s not co concerned about the money.  As long as she covers her expenses she’ll do it just for the enjoyment.  It occurred to me that she just defined what it takes to be successful.  If you can turn a profit from doing something you love, you have achieved success.

Every time I learn one of these little life lessons, I consider it a gift.  Learning these things from your child is really a grace filled moment.  It’s a difficult thing to admit when your children surpass you in intelligence and common sense.  I always knew they were extraordinary, but I’m only beginning to realize their potential.  Sierra has always been responsible and mature… Who knew she’d be a good example and role model to her mother?

Day 27 of the Amazing Grace blog… and I’m stuck. It’s been a really crappy week and quite frankly, I’m finding myself hosting a bit of a pity party. One of the things I’m learning (very quickly) is that it’s difficult to experience grace when you’re feeling sorry for yourself.

I know that the grace is still there… all around me, just waiting to be appreciated. But for me it’s difficult to access when I’m too focused on everything that’s wrong instead of the blessings.

This is not rocket science. It’s similar to my struggle with diet. I know (intelligence) that the formula to lose weight is to consume less calories than I burn. Simple math. Very, simple math. I feel (emotions) like eating a cupcake. So I have two. Therein lies the problem.

We get in trouble when we let our emotions control our behavior. Emotions are unpredictable and unreliable. They can be influenced by hormones, health and even the weather. I’m learning very quickly that they can also be a barrier to experiencing grace. And that just doesn’t seem worth it.

I’ve always considered my love of reading a special gift. Not only did this make school much easier, it has been a source of entertainment and a relaxing hobby.

In the last few years, I’ve discovered that reading does so much more for me than just past the time. I’ve come to realize that it is my ultimate escape from reality. When I am focused on a really good story, I cannot think of anything else. It is as though the world melts away… or at least goes on pause.

I know for some, exercise provides the same kind of relief. I wish it were so for me. (Perhaps I have not tried it enough…?) I think if I had the same kind of physiological reduction of stress when I was working out as I do when I was reading, I might stick with it a bit longer.

For now, I have my trusty Kindle. When I don’t have a new book to keep my interest, I can always go back to my favorites and that’s what I’m going to do tonight.