We are blessed to have Fr. Hilary Silva as our pastor at Holy Rosary Church in Hilmar. While I don’t know him personally, I can tell from listening to his homilies that he is a kind soul with deep faith and a strong love for the people of the parish. His smile is infectious and his giggle contagious.

Today his homily was regarding some misconceptions about God. He told a story of someone with a terminal illness who explained to Fr. Hilary that some people think he (the patient) is being punished by God for past transgressions. This is not an uncommon idea. Sadly, there are those around us who ask “why me” or wonder what they have done to be punished or tested by God. We encounter this misunderstanding often in the RCIA process as well. It is a difficult obstacle to overcome.

As I was listening to Fr. Hilary today, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for having a different perspective. I don’t ever remember a time when I felt that God was testing me or punishing me for something that I did or did not do. I know that I have had to endure the consequences of my choices, but I have never felt those negative consequences were inflicted by God. My understanding and relationship with God is based on unconditional love and for that I have been able to see the good in every situation… When I look for it. Don’t get me wrong, I still pout and whine… but I know it’s ALL me, not God.

If one believes in a “Gotcha God” then it would be difficult to understand, participate or even enjoy grace. The more we acknowledge grace, the more we are aware of its abundance in our lives. Count your blessings and you’ll quickly realize how much you are loved.

One of the greatest conduits of God’s grace in my life is my husband Leroy. I’ll probably be writing about him often this year. He really is extraordinary, and probably the best gift I have received. I am truly blessed.

Today, he took me to the movies to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D. Now, that might not sound like such a big deal, but he did have to miss almost the whole first quarter of an NFL football playoff game. He knew how much it meant to me.

That particular movie is my favorite because of the memories it brings back of my children when they were very young. We watched it on VHS so many times… knew all of the lines and sang along with every song. Re-living memories that simple, and yet that wonderful really are grace filled moments. Images and music instantly take me back in time… and the wonderful memories overflow.

I’m not feeling well. Something I ate earlier this afternoon just didn’t agree with me. This has happened before and I know from experience that I just have to wait it out. When you’re ill… (even if it’s simple and temporary) nothing else matters. It’s difficult to focus on anything else.

The grace comes in the fact that I don’t have anything that needs my immediate attention. I have no plans for the evening and nothing to do that can’t wait for a couple of hours. So I’ll sit here and be thankful that my body is healing itself (even with the damage I inflicted upon it) and all I really have to do is practice some patience.

A friend of mine was in a horrific car accident in mid-November.  Without going into much detail, I’ll just say that her survival is a miracle.  While she has made huge strides in her recovery, she still has a long way to go.  Today was my first visit with her since the accident.  It has not been my intention to take this long before visiting, but life happens.  And with all of the events in December, I was needed elsewhere.  Today, I picked up another mutual friend (Kelly) and I finally got see Lili.

I’ve always known that everything happens for a reason.  Today, Lili reinforced that belief.  As I tried to apologize for taking so long before coming to see her, Lili told me that it was for the best as I probably would have been stressed to see her in her previous condition.  She did not harbor any ill will, just reassured me that the timing was God’s idea and she was confident he had everyone’s best interest at heart.  As she re-told the story of the accident, her surgical procedures, hospitalizations, therapy and future plans, I was amazed at the strength and optimism of this woman.  But, that’s our Lili.  She carries an incredible faith and her will to live is beyond measure.  She reminded us that trust in God is also trust in his timing.

It’s funny to me that when we visit someone in the hospital (or commit any act of mercy or kindness) we think we’re doing it for the other person… We call it “service.”  In reality, we are the ones that are healed, consoled, blessed, graced, served… among other tremendous benefits.  WE are the ones that benefit from the act!  I’m not going to deny that Lili appreciated our gesture, but I can tell you that WE are the ones that left there feeling as though we had received a gift.

Today is only the 12th post for me on my journey to discover Grace… but already I am confident that our experience today was grace-filled.  That’s one thing I know for sure.  When we are called by God for a task, it is for our benefit as well as those we serve.  (Maybe even more so.)  All we really have to do is show up… that’s the hardest part.  God equips us with all we need… and throws in a few perks as well.

Unfortunately, it is a rare occasion when I have a telephone conversation with one of my four brothers. Today, I was graced with the opportunity to speak with two of them… and the best part about it is that none of our relatives had to die to initiate these conversations. (I know that sounds harsh, but that is what usually has to happen to bring us all together.) It’s not that we don’t like each other (I don’t think) it’s just that we’re all so busy and so far apart from one another. At least that’s the case for my lack of communication.

I love my brothers. Each one of them is very different from the others… Unique in personality and lifestyle. I won’t lie to you and say that we’ve always gotten along… on the contrary. But at least now we have a little more respect for our differences. After losing both of our parents, I think we’ve all learned that life is too short for hatred and anger. (But we still leave a little room for irritation.)

So today, I recognize the grace of family and siblings. I also acknowledge the fact that I could certainly participate in that grace a lot more often if I would just pick up the phone and dial. Email is nice… but it’s really great to hear a voice that you love every once in a while.

You gotta love Google.  An entire world of information is right at your fingertips.  I’ve always believed that a person doesn’t need to know everything, they just need to know where to go to get the answers they need.  As much as the Internet and Google are tools for that endeavor, I think sometimes it just makes it a bit more confusing.  In my case… I realize I still have a lot to learn and understand about grace.  There are so many different opinions.

Many understand that grace is unmerited favor, and that is true. Grace, however, is much more than unmerited favor.  Grace comes from the Lord and is simply the God-given desire and the power to do God’s will.

Grace is God’s unmerited favor. It is kindness from God we don’t deserve. There is nothing we have done, nor can ever do to earn this favor. It is a gift from God.

Grace is divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration (rebirth) or sanctification; a virtue coming from God; a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine favor.

Then I went on to read that there are two different kinds of grace.

Sanctifying grace stays in the soul. It’s what makes the soul holy; it gives the soul supernatural life. More properly, it is supernatural life. Actual grace, by contrast, is a supernatural push or encouragement. It’s transient. It doesn’t live in the soul, but acts on the soul from the outside, so to speak. It’s a supernatural kick in the pants. It gets the will and intellect moving so we can seek out and keep sanctifying grace.

Then I found arguments between the Protestants and Catholics.

Grace is perhaps the most misunderstood concept in Christianity. Both Protestant and Catholics often do not comprehend the full significance of this wonderful reality.  Protestants usually define grace as “God’s unmerited favor towards us in Christ”. Though not incorrect, this definition is incomplete, for grace also includes the divine gifts which flow from this favor, such as our new life in Christ, God’s indwelling Presence and the ability to bear spiritual fruit.

Can’t we all just get along?  This is CONFUSING!  I think I know less than I did when I started this research.  I finally quit looking around and went to the good, old Merriam Webster dictionary.

a: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification

b: a virtue coming from God

c: a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace

Well… at least I have a whole year in front of me to define Grace for myself.  As of today, all I can say I know is that it is by the grace of God that I have the will, knowledge and ability to follow through on this committment.  We’ll figure it out together.

I come from really big families on both my father’s side (Faulkner) and on my mother’s side (Reese.) Since my parents were originally from the southern Idaho and northern Utah area… there is a heavy concentration of relatives in these two states. But now, we are spread out all over Washington, Nevada, California and probably all of the other states.

My family moved to California when I was three, but we made annual trips to Idaho and Utah when I was young. In between visits, I learned about my extended family from stories and conversations with my parents and brothers. Now… I learn about them on Facebook.

Today I was able to re-connect with a much younger second-cousin through a conversation on Facebook. We have a “Reese Family Group” established on Facebook where we post pictures and carry on conversations (with lots and lots of teasing included.) It is so much fun to check in with everyone once in a while and reminisce about days gone by through the photographs we share.

When I was reading the posts today, Leroy asked me why I was smiling… and I realized then how wonderful it is to keep up family relationships, even if it is only on Facebook for now. I hope to make it back up there to see some of them soon. In the meantime, I’ll keep checking the wall.

We know by faith that we participate in God’s interaction with others when we allow him to use us to love and serve those around us. And the greatest part of this love, service, participation thing is that WE are the ones that end of up with grace and blessings… even when we don’t even know it.

I don’t believe in accidents or luck. I believe that everything happens for a reason… a bigger purpose that I am probably not even aware of at the time. Sometimes, we are graced with the knowledge but most of the time, the good that we do or happens to us goes by, un-noticed, and un-appreciated.

I’ve been posting a brief meditation on the wall of the St. Stanislaus RCIA group on Facebook. I did it through Advent and will run through the feast of the Epiphany. All I do is copy and paste it from an email to the wall.

This morning, I accidentally (or purposefully) posted the phrase on my personal Facebook wall. It had a tremendous response and I knew that God wanted someone particular to read it. I’ll post it again here… just in case.

Open Your Heart

— from Celebrating Saints and Seasons